Saturday, December 31, 2011

and a happy new year!

After 3,319 miles, lots of good times with family and friends, two Christmases and a visit from Santa Claus, we're back!  As I was pulling into a gas station at 3:30 a.m. on our return trip, both Jon and Sam woke up.  With his eyes barely open Sam asked, "Are we at gwamma's house?".  I had to break the news that we were still very far away.  Sam responded, "We can do it, if we stick together!".  i. love. this. kid.  Then, in the same breath, he said, "This car is makin' me crazy!".  I think he spoke for us all.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and I wish you a very happy New Year!  2012 is looking to be a big year, full of exciting changes.  Can you say graduation?  Yes, ma'am that's right.  June 4th, save the date.  These are exciting times my friends.

So long 2011, it's been fun, but 2012 is a-knockin'.

Friday, December 16, 2011

fashion friday: road trip

blazer: gap, shirt: old navy, jeans: tj maxx, boots: famous footwear
 Well, we're off!  Over the next 30 hours there will be a lot of driving (duh), reading, movies, chatting, singing, snacking and napping.  Okay, there may not be a lot of singing from me, but not because I don't like to.  It's just that recently, anytime I start singing, Sam says, "Please stop mommy, that makes me feel angry".  I never knew my singing had that effect on people.

And no, I am not actually wearing this outfit today.  These were taken a few days ago.  Today, my clothing choice falls more in line with this.  Trust me, nobody wants to see that.

Monday, December 12, 2011


Earlier this term, we learned about the "imposter syndrome" in class.  "Imposter syndrome" refers to the feeling that you're not actually qualified to be doing whatever it is that you're doing; that you're somehow inadvertently fooling everyone around you and that you're just a fraud {apparently this is a common sentiment among new grad nurses--dang}.  Implied along with this is that you think you are alone in feeling this way.

Something got me thinking about this last night and I realized that this describes to a "T" how I felt as a new mom.  I was over the moon, elated and in love with my little guy, but I somehow felt unqualified for the role.  I'd read the books, attended the classes, and scoured the parenting websites.  I could tell you all about attachment theories, breastfeeding, SIDS, the pros and cons of co-sleeping, you name it, yet I found myself feeling totally unprepared.

I felt like I was the only mama that didn't know to pack an extra outfit in case he peed through his diaper and clothes while we were on our way to dinner.  The only one who initially had such difficulty with breastfeeding.  The only one who wasn't sure if it was possible to give him his pacifier too much.  The only one who was incapable of getting out the door within half an hour of the time I was supposed to leave.  The only one who was unsure of how to assert my authority when other people offered their opinions on caring for my child.

I thought I was the only one.

I've since come into my own as a mother and feel confident in this role.  I've learned much through trial and error, and just good ol' time and experience.  But it dawned on me the other night that all these feelings of inadequacy I had experienced were most likely not unique to me.  Many new mothers {& fathers} probably go through a similar experience as well.

That was my first experience with the "imposter syndrome" and I lived to tell the tale.  I think its only natural for those feelings to arise when you are suddenly entrusted with a great deal of responsibility, whether it's out in the workforce or within your own home.  I'll probably feel like an imposter many more times throughout my life {the next time being upon graduation apparently}, and while its not the most pleasant of experiences at least now I'll know I'm not alone.

Friday, December 9, 2011

fashion friday: groupie

sweater: target, top: old navy, leggings: kohls, boots: famous footwear

Today I was telling Sam how much I love him {this is nothing new}.  He usually responds with a hug and an "I love you" or "I love you sooo much".  Apparently he turned 16 today because he patronized me with an "aww... you so cute".   What am I, just one of his many groupies?

We've been basking in the sunshine here for the last two weeks, a real treat for an Oregon December!  Now I've just gotta store it up to get through the next few months... or just wear this sweater every day.  It’s pretty much like getting to walk around wearing a cozy blanket, except more socially acceptable.

Thursday, December 8, 2011


Seeing as we're getting all ramped up for Christmas at our house, we decided to continue with the festivities and check out the Christmas setup at Alpenrose Dairyville.  We visited the petting zoo {Sam decided all the animals belong to Santa},  enjoyed some hot cider and popcorn, stopped to listen to the carolers, and walked around the little western town.  We didn't make it in to see Santa, but we're planning to go back for an encore this weekend to see the big man himself.

We were blown away by how well it was all put together.  And did I mention its FREE? If you live in the Portland area, I highly recommend popping by.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

its okay...


Isn't that the truth?  We all have a tendency to show only what we want the world to see, from our day to day interactions, to facebook, and yes, even in blog land.  Well here are a few of my "behind-the-scenes", and you know what? Its okay.

  • its okay that I don't cook dinner every night.
  • its okay that I'm not the best housekeeper.
  • its okay that I eat some kind of sweets everyday.
  • its okay that Sam knows the refrain to Katy Perry's "Hot 'n Cold", but doesn't know "Mary had a Little Lamb".
  • its okay that I could have been done with fall term a week earlier if I hadn't procrastinated on writing my final reflection that only took a half an hour to complete.
  • its okay that I spent half of the money I made from selling my old textbooks on a new pair of shoes.
  • its okay that I never remember to get the oil changed.
  • its okay that I need to go see my orthodonist tomorrow.
  • its okay that we'll be driving 27 hours in a couple of weeks to go visit Jon's family because we can't afford plane tickets.
  • its okay that Sam's "baby's first Christmas" ornament still has the generic model baby picture in it and regardless of this, is hanging on our tree

Monday, December 5, 2011

the tree

We finally did it!  We picked out our perfect tree this weekend and cut it down ourselves.  Okay, Jon cut it down but I was there for moral support.  This was our perfect tree for two reasons: 1) its narrow base fits perfectly in our little living room, 2) it bore the $10 tag.  Okay, so it was mainly #2 that we were so excited about, but #1 was still a bonus.  When we were purchasing it, the owner chuckled at how sparse the tree was and made a comment about this one needing a lot of tinsel.  Listen here buddy, we don't do tinsel and I love my $10 tree, sparse branches, slightly browned lower needles and all.  And so does Sam.  And my hubs is fairly indifferent.  That is all.

Sam helped decorate the tree by pretending to eat the candy cane ornament.

And I felt the need to clarify something on the last post.  Jon thought that I had posed Sam for those pictures.  For the record, I did no such thing.  Those poses are 100% his own, no help needed.

Friday, December 2, 2011

fashion friday: male model

Sam-- shirt: gap, vest & pants: kohls  &   Me-- turtle neck & scarf: target, jeans: kohls, shoes: j.c. penney

Sam was looking so dapper today that I decided he deserves his own outfit post.  Check out those moves, such a natural!  He knows how to work what his mama gave him!
{Oh wait, I'm his mama... ha!}

Last night I was putting Sam to bed {lately I feel like all my stories start like this} and as I was reading about how many friends the friendly lion has, I began squinting and blinking my eyes.  The following conversation ensued:
Sam:  "Don't cry mommy..."
Me:   "I'm not crying sweetie, I've got something in my eye."
Sam:  "is it a rubberband?"
Me:   "no, it's not a rubberband."
Sam:  {thinks for a second} "a elbow?"
Me:   "no, not an elbow."
Sam:  "uh... a truck?"
Me:   "nope."
Sam:  "you got gwanma in your eye?"
Me:   "no, I do not have grandma in my eye.  It's probably just some makeup."
Sam:  "ohhh..."

Gah... don't-cha just hate it when you get grandma stuck in your eye??