Wednesday, February 27, 2013

"hey, remember that one time you had a blog? that was cool"

Yeah yeah Jon, I hear ya...

It may be an understatement to say that I haven't been around here much lately.  Truth be told, my life's been in a state of limbo for the last several months--or I suppose more like a year really.  This time last year, I was looking forward to graduating nursing school in just a few months and landing my dream job--preferably signing a contract even prior to graduation (that's what most students in the class the year ahead of me had done).  But all within a blink of an eye, the nursing job market plummeted just months prior to my finishing school.  Nurses were being required to take on more work for the same pay, their hours were being cut and some were even losing their jobs.  And absolutely no one was being hired.  With all this looming in the forefront of my mind, I just kept working hard in school and kept praying that something, anything, would turn up.
And life went on.

I graduated.

I passed my state boards.

I landed a nursing job.  Not my dream job, but a job none the less. A job that soon required more and more of my time, some weeks I was working five 12 hour days only to go back to do it again the next week.  I was tired.  Tired of not seeing Jon, tired of not seeing Sam, tired of never being home, tired of not having any time to myself, tired of feeling that I was not utilizing my education to it's full potential.

And then feeling guilty that I was not more grateful for the simple and yet huge blessing of having a job.  And there were tears & venting at home, and praying for something better.  And there were smiles at work--sometimes genuine, sometimes forced.
But mostly I was just overwhelmingly tired.

Then, a little over a month ago {the day after I wrote this actually}, an unexpected opportunity arose.  They wanted a nurse with 1-2 years of experience.  I had less than one year total.  I applied anyway.  I interviewed, they offered me the job on the spot, I put in my two weeks notice that day, and exactly two weeks later started orientation for the new position.

And here I am.  Working in a job that I truly enjoy and feel challenged by, alongside some of the nicest & most welcoming nurses you ever did meet, with a schedule that is better than I could have imagined for my family.   Needless to say, I am ridiculously grateful for this new opportunity and keenly aware that I did nothing to earn or deserve this.  This is a blessing.

If you've been coming around for awhile, you know that I sometimes have a tendency to talk about plans.  Well this route to getting to where I am now was not my plan, that is for sure.  However, the current situation has worked out even better than I could have hoped for back last spring.  And once again, throughout this journey I have been taught lessons.  Lessons in patience, humility, and trusting in God's perfect timing.

And with all that being said, I feel that there is a reason I was placed in this position.  Because truly, I should not be here.  I shouldn't have gotten a second look, let alone hired when hundreds of more skilled, more experienced nurses were applying for the same spot.  But for some reason it was me.  And now I have this persistent thought/feeling that has set up camp in my brain that there is a reason, a purpose to me being here.  A purpose bigger than just the benefits it offers me and my family.  It's like I get the feeling that there is a role that I am supposed to fulfill.  Is that crazy talk?  Maybe so... but I just can't seem to shake it.
Only time will tell...

So long story short.  You'll just have to get used to seeing more of me around here soon. :)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

only a mother...

coat & socks: JC Penney, leggings: Target, boots: Famous Footwear

This evening, Sam and I were reading some rad books about lego hero robots {betcha didn't even know such a thing existed.  but ohh... they do}.  We were sharing the recliner chair and with the way we were squeezed in there, my sweater pulled up a little in the back, exposing just a small portion of my lower back/side.  Extending his pointer finger, Sam pokes my right love handle.

"Is that part of your tushy?"
"No, that's part of my back."

He continues to poke at it.

"Well, it feels like a tushy..."
 No judgement, just observation.

Well golly, thank you for pointing that out because otherwise I may have just happily lived my life without ever realizing that my extra side baggage feels like my bum.  Seriously child, have you never heard of sugar coating??