Tuesday, July 2, 2013

one is the loneliest number


Today just may have been the hardest day I've ever had as a mama.  Well maybe not the hardest, his birthday was sure a heck of a lot harder, but it definitely falls into the top 5.  Today I took my guys to the airport and with big squeezy hugs & kisses, sent them off.  And I will be back to greet them again with big squeezy hugs & kisses on Sunday when they return.  That's SIX days.  FIVE nights.  If you're counting.  I am.  I may not survive.  I warned Jon that when he gets back I may look like Smeagol from LOTR due to my extended time in solitude.  He didn't seem to give much credence to my warning.  Only time will tell...

But before they left, Sam gave me one last hug and asked if he could keep my love in his heart.  To be honest, the question was actually quite a bit more convoluted than that as there were lots of extra "you's" "yours" and "my" and "mine" added in there.  It's kind of a difficult concept to put into words really, especially when you're four.  But I knew what he meant and he knew I knew.

And then they were off.

And I got back into the quiet car.  No husband, no Sam, not even his empty car seat.  But I was holding it together-ish.  And then, then Sam's and my song came on the radio.  And that did me in, the last blow by that big, bad wolf to my feeble straw house.  *Commence ugly cries now*

So I decided to do what anyone in my position would do: drown my sorrows at IKEA with a free cup of coffee, two succulents and a new storage bin.  And it worked.  kinda...

I keep telling myself that it'll be alright and to make the most of this time by myself.  Jon is dutifully texting me an exorbitant amount of pictures {as instructed}, but this house is too quiet for my liking.  And there aren't enough hugs or giggles or super hero's running around.  And there are no crayons strewn across the living room floor and nobody to ask me questions non-stop and nobody to read books to or to help with the especially tricky puzzle pieces.

Harry Nilsson was right, one is the loneliest number.  {yes, I had to google that.}

All in all, today I am grateful for two things:  extra large sunglasses and a hidden tissue stash in the glove box.

5 comments:

  1. Awww :( I would feel the same way! I hope these days fly by for you (and that you get some amazing rest during this time :) xo

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  2. That would be hard! But how fun for them--it sounds like a little father-son trip! I hope you find some fun things to do while they are gone!

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  3. Awe hon...I couldn't imagine that! I've never been away from both Ellie and Matt at the same time! Where did they go without you (if you don't mind me be nosy and asking! lol)

    Hang in there momma! Time will fly by! If we lived closer, we could grab lunch and have girl chat to keep your mind off your two boys!! :-(
    ♥ Kyna

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  4. Awww. 6 days and 5 nights will be gone before you know it. :(

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  5. Awww poor mama!! Enjoy the downtime. They will be back faster then you think and you will appreciate them even more.

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