Thursday, August 8, 2013

memoirs of the uncool

 I found this picture downstairs in my parents' house earlier this week.  And I laughed.
And it reminded me of how in every aspect possible, just how uncool I am, was, am.

 That's my middle school bff, Melissa {left} and middle-school-me {right}. Nice bangs.

On my drive back home from my parents' house I kept chuckling about that fantastic picture & got to thinking about some of the many uncool moments from my life.  And here, because I love ya, is a small sampling:

Let's just start with the obvious, my "ugly face" is legitimately ugly.  Cool girls don't actually have ugly "ugly faces", example being Melissa who was infinitely cooler than I.
Hers:  silly--check, cute--check.
Mine:  silly--questionable, cute--absolutely not, on the verge of terrifying--check.

Discovering the genius that is tucking your shirt not only into your pants but also into your underwear in 1st grade.  That sucker wasn't going anywhere with the elastic waistband of my pink  hanes her way undies holding on tight!  It was awesome.
 ^^Not too long after this wonderful discovery, my dreams were crushed at the hands of Savannah {the Regina George of Foothills Elementary School}, as she very publicly called me out on the swing set that the practice of underwear tucking was not only not widely practiced but also laughed upon.

Thrifting at Goodwill looooong before it was cool.  What's a girl to do when she grows up in the age of t-shirts doubling as billboards advertising their brand when she could only dream of owning clothes from such cool stores?  Hit up Goodwill yo.  And scour the racks for anything brand name.  And buy it regardless of size, because being 3 times too large & a decade out of style was obviously a second priority.

Demonstrating my uncanny ability to recall every lyric from my little sisters' Veggie Tales sing-a-long videos on the bus ride to cheerleading camp.
 ^^Believing my fellow cheerleaders were laughing with me.

Getting adult braces.
 ^^Becoming pregnant one month after getting said braces.  There's something about that shiny metal all over the mouth that really brings out the best in a puffy pregnancy face.  Frickin' adorable.


  1. Oh my goodness, you crack me up! Did you ever have the shirts that are basically glorified adult onesies? Perfect for a good shirt tuck. Oh dear, those were the days. Bodysuit? Crotch snapping top? I didn't know you had adult braces. Hehe, at least it was short? 2nd grade for me included those ginormous, round, speckled glasses & full braces. Can you say metal face? Ugh, hideous. Well, you are indeed beautiful & I love your humor.

    1. Hahahaha! yes, I absolutely had myself a few fab body suits! someone shoulda told me about them a little sooner though and saved me from my underwear fiasco.... ;). I bet you were the cutest little round, speckled glasses wearing second grader ever seen :)


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