Monday, March 10, 2014

pregnancy problems #291

Pregnancy is truly miraculous.

period.


I would never argue against that.  But when people say pregnancy is beautiful I am forced to conclude that either they have never experienced pregnancy or never had the pleasure of living with a pregnant woman.  You see, as your womb accommodates the growing wonder inside, the rest of your body decides to throw a full blown, down on the ground, kicking & screaming in isle 4 of the grocery store, temper tantrum about it.  This is particularly true of the gastrointestinal tract.  That ol' GI tract always was a diva.  It starts with nausea and vomiting.  Then come the food aversions and ridiculous cravings.  Soon to follow comes the bloating, constipation, heart burn and gas--from both ends.  Oh yes.  And it's close friend, the urinary tract shares similar sentiments regarding the new developments within the abdominal cavity.  She often likes sharing her complaints in the middle of the night, requiring frequent mad dashes down the dark hall filled with tiny Lego landmines, as you make it to the bathroom just in the nick of time.

Just yesterday, after returning home following a lovely lunch out with friends, my GI tract decided to make her displeasure known in a mighty way.  The look upon my husbands face, it was as if he was trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time at which his beautiful bride had turned into a caveman.  A few years back I would have been horrified, but instead after 7.5 years of marriage and halfway through pregnancy #2, all I could do was laugh.  And laugh I did. Until I peed my pants {not a whole flood  mind you, but enough to make any 90 year old woman with a hankering toward stress incontinence proud}.  Right there in our townhouse parking lot.  With my husband and son looking on.  Which only made me laugh harder.  "What's wrong with mommy?" I heard Sam ask as I ran, still laughing, towards our door.  I laughed all the way to the bathroom and continued laughing until I cried.  And then laughed some more.

And that right there is the truth of pregnancy.

Terribly awkward?  Yes.
Mostly hilarious?  I'd say so.
Miraculous? Absolutely.
Beautiful? I'll let you be the judge.

3 comments:

  1. Hahaha, I don't know if I should feel bad for laughing at this but truly, it is hilarious :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've never tried....I'm hearing a lot of stories like this....but even after these kind of stories, I think that pregnant women are absolute awesome, they look like a living miracle!
    ;)
    Have a nice evening!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Has anything ever bothered you in life? Do you
    have any problem you need to solve? A pending
    court case you want to resolve in your favor?
    Health, relationship and finance. Welcome to
    the world of miracles and wonders, there are
    supernatural treasure and power to liberate
    mankind from all afflictions. Why cant you live a
    life of your dream? Why must you work so hard
    and yet earn so little? Why cant you be happy
    with the one you love and desire or why cant the
    one you love reciprocate and appreciate that
    love? Why would the doctor tell you there is no
    solution or cure to your problems? Why would
    your lawyer say you stand no chance, that your
    case is hopeless? Have you been cheated by
    anyone or those owing you money refuse to pay
    back? Do you need a rapid job promotion in
    your place of work? You want to venture into
    politics? Now I understand certain things are
    hard to believe and comprehend, but all I ask
    from you is only 3 days and if you will follow my
    instructions and use the items you will receive, I
    promise your life will never be the same
    again.If you find no relevance in the help I offer
    I solemnly appeals do not be vindictive and go
    in peace. And if your intentions are to take
    advantage of the powerful nature of our items
    for the purpose of evil, I will not have any
    business with you please be advised. May
    angels guide you. All inquiries should be
    directed to the Priest Abija email below Email:
    spirituallighthealing101@live.com or
    you can sent a text message to this number:(518) 303-6207!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for visiting, I'd love to hear from you!