Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Halloweens of Octobers past


With October rolling in within just a few more days, costumes have been ALL the talk around here.  Truly, costumes take up a majority chunk of our conversations year round, but seeing as it's almost the month of Halloween, we are on official red level alert over here.  {Because you know, seven year olds.}  This year the internal battle is deciding between one of about 47 Transformers, or Batman, or Captain Jack Sparrow.  So you know, we're in a good place...

Thinking back to my early Halloweens, it was never a matter of which new costume I decided to settle on.  It was taking turns with my older sister between who wore the homemade witch costume that year or the homemade princess costume.  The witch wore a black tunic with the edges cut raggedy, a floppy black witch hat and of course, a misshapen wart-covered rubber nose.  The princess wore a homemade white dress with simple beading hand-sewn around the neckline and a crown made of golden pipe-cleaners.  Both were paired with running shoes to hasten the acquisition of candy.  Neither wanted to be the witch, but fair is fair, and free candy is free candy.

One year, my sister and I decided we were done with these as our only two options and decided to make our own costumes.  With the help of my mother, I settled on "Hobo Man".  Not the most PC of costumes, but it was the 90's...  After borrowing my dad's flannel shirt, applying what was likely an entire bottle of hair gel to my short hair and slicking it back while tucking it carefully behind my ears, my mom finished drawing the stubble on my face. I was ready to go.  First stop, my sister's soccer team Halloween Party.  I showed up to the party with my sister, excited to show off my unique costume and eat my weight in chips and jack-o-lantern shaped sugar cookies.  But my glee turned to horror as I realized her teammates not only did not know I was a "hobo", but also thought I was legitimately a boy.  A boy dressed up like a man.  And to make matters worse, its not as if that was the first time I'd met these girls.  They had been on the same team all through late summer and early fall.  They were indeed, well aware that Michelle had a sister.  No brothers.  In retrospect, I suppose I should have been pleased that my costume had been so realistically executed.  But no, instead I sat there in the corner, hoping to all but disappear as I counted down the minutes to the end of the party while the princesses, soccer players, Cleopatras, and characters from the Baby-Sitters Club, all danced, chatted and played games.

Having learned my lesson in cross dressing, subsequent years strictly consisted of female-only costumes.  These included the likes of "Tacky Lady" {OMG mom}, "Grandmother" and "1980's Aerobics Instructor".  Clearly, totally normal.  Thank God.

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